Friday, December 31, 2010

In Lockdown We Bite! 2006

Dear Wentworth,

Greetings with all due respect! I pray that this letter reaches you in the best of health and spirit and that you haven’t been caught yet!

Man I can not imagine that there is only two more episodes to Prison Break—I am going to cry. But I have to learn to bite the bullet. At one point I read that you are the 14th most Googled person.

I saw you in the “my scene” doll booth at the teen choice awards autographing a pink surfboard. I wondered if you noticed the “my scene Lindsay Lohan” doll there. Why don’t we see you in a picture with Lindsay? Is there a rivalry between you and Lindsay?

You are so internal. You are psychologically still behind bars. How can you open up your story line? I need to be more inside your character. I want more… I’m so confined inside your walls. You can never go back to your previous life.

Went, what’s your plan? How can you manipulate them and still have feelings?

Tweener is a total RAT! But, HOT!

Freedom to me is the ability to walk away and not have to look over your shoulder.

Who are you and what drives you? You’re living your life so scared. I can totally feel the paranoia is setting in…

You must blend in… your storylines are too simple. But now that you’ve broken out of Fox, you can really expand your story… improvise as you go.

You’re our fearless leader. Everybody’s got their own agenda…

A lot of testosterone and egos going on… it’s like a pissing contest!

You’re marked for life.

You can’t go to a corner without being recognized by the news media... you’re not free. It’s about whatever works for the show. Nobody’s safe.

What the hell’s gonna happen next? Your new free life is more of a prison then you just escaped from—your home sweet home. The trick of it is to continue to be charming with whatever plot is thrown at you. T-Bag is a big kitten—he’s always suckin’ us in—I hate him!

We need to get to the money!

It’s the regular routine… it’s nice to be in different clothes.

It’s a lot of woods, spiders, bugs, running, sweatin’, smelling kinda bad…

We don’t trust each other. Tweener is always off on his own… you should totally nail him!

Wentworth, you’ve been eating too much chocolate cake!

Emotions, tensions, down each other’s throats… everything is very urgent. You’re never free man. I don’t care how big the world is—you’re still a slave! Maybe we’re free but we’re fugitives… How can we get the money and live a happy life somewhere other than the U.S.?

Government conspiracy—time to hunt some human flesh—Bellick’s jealous and wants your hot ass just as much as we all do! I think the hammer is gonna fall. It’s kinda like working for a large corporation… you never know when you’re gonna get laid... off!

Everyone has their objective—debts to repay… you’ve got to get that 5 million man! T-Bag needs a new hand and you need a new plan—you need to manipulate and maneuver around these idiots who continue to get in our way. All those other cons want the money too!

Success and money as an actor, you’ve got to accommodate that! Finding the balance. At the end of the day you were just hired to do a job. Be committed but not necessarily attached.

There’s no sense in worrying… you’re forced to deal with what life gives you. You didn’t ask for it.

Poor thing. I think it’s getting too much for you. Time for a meltdown.

They messed with the wrong guy!

I think you’ve met your mental match.

Yours truly,

p.s. If you do see this, you can totally contact me and you guys are more than welcome to hide out at my place.

Cover by Superm

Christophe Chemin

Eve Fowler

Solomon Chase & Lauren Devine

a still from the film, Fire by Annika Larsson shown at The Kitchen, NYC

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